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Running on Jewish Time

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Boys will be..... just little boys

[Current score: Boys are evil (7) or they might be redeemable (1)]

This past week as I sat with a friend working on problem sets, I turned around to another guy in the class and asked him
"Can I look at your #67?"
He passes it over. I look at it, copy a few lines and hand it back with a polite
"Thank you."
"You know you owe me now, right?" He said, as he took back the papers.
"Sure. Which problem do you need?", as I turned to grab my papers.
"No. You owe me, that means...."
Well, sufices to say that what he said next made me blush and immediately look away and muslim girl I had been studying with jump up and start demanding an apology.

Mute from a great deal of shock, and no small amount of embaressment, I searched for the words to explain to this boy what he had just said and realized with a certain degree of sadness
"It's enough, Meem, it's enough. It's two different worlds. He can't understand. It's enough."
In retrospect, it bears greatest resemblance to being called names by a little kid. Noisy, offensive, but in essence meaningless.

There is a certain tragedy to finding a thirteen year old in a grown up's body.

33 Comments:

  • This is something that has happened to every girl in the world- although maybe less intense than your story. Guys smiling, waving, and yelling at you as you walk down the street. Men from 40 to 80 inviting you to the nearest motel. Two totally seperate worlds-and thank G-d for it. Although we may look and wonder what part of their brain never fully matured, every other guy in their lives shakes their hand, buys them a beer, and welcomes them to the world as we know it.

    By Blogger araya(uh-ray-uh), at 10:53 PM, December 03, 2005  

  • never ask a guy what you owe him- they're almost wired to answer with something fresh

    By Blogger Mata Hari, at 11:44 PM, December 03, 2005  

  • >shakes their hand, buys them a beer and welcomes them to the world as we know it.

    I know, but in some ways I wish they didn't. Every once in a while, even amoung college boys, I see a glimmer of humanity, a wince as one of them goes too far, a 'you know, we're in mixed company.' that gives me hope that there's a chance these guys will grow up.

    I'm so tired of little boys that think they're being so big.

    By Blogger Masmida, at 10:39 AM, December 04, 2005  

  • College.

    Wonderful place, isn't it?

    Sigh.

    By Blogger Stx, at 12:34 PM, December 04, 2005  

  • Next time speak to him in his language. Tell him, you'll let his mother slap him for you, for that one. It's not your job... Then tell him that when he grows up he will understand how luck he was that was worthy enough for you to let him help you, because under normal circumstances, you would not even look in his direction. Then wink and walk away, and never speak to him again.

    By Blogger Littleredridinghoodie, at 12:44 PM, December 04, 2005  

  • I'm all for the never speak to him again part.

    but I'm not entirely sure he has a mother.

    By Blogger Masmida, at 1:25 PM, December 04, 2005  

  • Sorry you were uncomfortable. Boys will be boys....

    By Blogger FrumGirl, at 1:46 PM, December 04, 2005  

  • Is it too much to expect them to be Men?

    By Blogger Masmida, at 2:45 PM, December 04, 2005  

  • Repeat after me:

    Guys are pigs.
    Guys are pigs.
    Guys are pigs.

    And once more for good measure.

    Guys are pigs.

    By Blogger ClooJew, at 2:46 PM, December 04, 2005  

  • Then why are we trying to marry one if they can't be something more than that?!

    [anyone who says we shouldn't will officially dubbed catholic]

    By Blogger Masmida, at 3:10 PM, December 04, 2005  

  • We shouldn't, ;) they should beg us, pay us, bribe us what ever it takes even if it means, are you ready? that they have to change!

    And we should take the money, enjoy it, sepnd it on ourselves our health, our children, (or adopt a few) and send them out to get more.. If we catch them being little pigs, we should take away ALL their money and let them sleep in the pig pen!

    By Blogger Littleredridinghoodie, at 5:13 PM, December 04, 2005  

  • guys are guys
    i heard they think about, um ya know stuff, all the time
    but worse is that he did this in front of a muslim girl!
    what a chilul hashem!!

    By Anonymous hurlgirl, at 5:26 PM, December 04, 2005  

  • LRH, you are now offically a catholic who believes that man is irreperably evil [joking]

    hurlgurl- don't worry, the guy who said this wasn't jewish, let alone frum. you get some of those in college.

    By Blogger Masmida, at 7:02 PM, December 04, 2005  

  • >And we should take the money, enjoy it, sepnd it on ourselves our health, our children, (or adopt a few) and send them out to get more.. If we catch them being little pigs, we should take away ALL their money and let them sleep in the pig pen!

    GUYS ARE NOT PIGS! I know I say this in this face on concrete evidence to countrary. but bear me out.

    Guys are not some sort of portable ATM. Is that any less derogetory or demeaning than calling a woman a baby-producing machine?

    Let's think about it for longer than five seconds before we start feeling all self-righteous.
    Guys, well, okay- my brother's a guy and he's not too bad. My father's a guy, and he's preety amazing. My rabbi is a guy, in fact all of these incredible rebbeim that we all look up to are guys. Yosef HaTzadik, was a guy and only 18/19 or so. [okay, amnon was also a guy, but hey i never said there was not such a thing as an evil guy]

    So if all these guys somehow managed to deal with this, then why on earth should we glummly consign half the population of the earth to perpetual childhood?

    Why should we point to this one idiot who didn't grow up and condemn the entire male race?

    [sigh] If this is what man really is, and I refuse to believe it is, then who is the greater fool, the man or the woman who marries him?

    By Blogger Masmida, at 7:16 PM, December 04, 2005  

  • hey girls, chillll out, some of us are ok (well, maybe not me, but I'm sure there are some out there!)

    By Blogger The Rabbi's Kid, at 3:36 AM, December 05, 2005  

  • TRK,
    You are the son of a Rabbi, that has to count for something "at the end of the day" doesn't it?

    Masmida,
    I don't think men are like an ATM machine at all. I would not take that away from those darling dependable ATMs. Besides, a woman should have her own emergency fund (hashgaca pratis as I like to call it)that has nothing to do with her man. All I am saying is that the man owes her! and she should not forget that for one second or fall prey to his manipulation. Or buy into any of that Tafkid BS! (Unless of course he is Yosef Hatzadik then she can rest assured that she is in good hands. For the rest of us...)

    A true Tzadik/Tzadeket ben Tzadik/Tzadeket is rewarded in this world and in the world to come as well. ie Yosef Hatzadik, Yitzchak Avinu, unless they came to this world a as a shaliach to save us (Esther Hamalka)

    By Blogger Littleredridinghoodie, at 12:22 PM, December 05, 2005  

  • > all i'm saying is the man owes her

    and she doesn't owe him? this is the basis for a healthy relationship?

    By Blogger Masmida, at 1:09 PM, December 05, 2005  

  • Hey, add me to the count that guys are redeemable. I am not saying that what the guy said was nice or should have been said; but in general, guys should not be deemed evil. It is the way God created us. Give us time to mature.

    By Blogger EN, at 5:41 PM, December 05, 2005  

  • I am sorry, it's my Ashkenaz half acting up again. I'll try to do teshuva and be the good sefardic girl I should be.

    En,
    I dare to speak collectively, when I say you are a sweetheart.

    By Blogger Littleredridinghoodie, at 10:23 AM, December 06, 2005  

  • LRH-

    The following is NOT what I'm saying:
    All women should be docile airheads who say agree to everything he says with a kind of deer-in-the-headlights expression.

    You've got the right idea. You deserve a guy who's moral, honesty and responsible, and all that.

    What I'm saying is when you find him, give him at least the same level of courtesy that you give to the other people you love. And if you don't love him... don't be that kind of idiot.

    Don't go all submissive on me. The world needs more women who are tough enough to say the truth.

    By Blogger Masmida, at 3:41 PM, December 06, 2005  

  • you can't handle the truth

    (sorry, had to be said!)

    By Blogger The Rabbi's Kid, at 4:01 AM, December 07, 2005  

  • [smirk]

    You're right. But change only comes from those who cannot bear what is and refuse to believe that something else cannot be.

    By Blogger Masmida, at 8:50 AM, December 07, 2005  

  • People do not change but when the weather gets cold they cover up.

    Like the prospect of living in a pig pen outside... gets them to appreciate the warm down covers inside. ;)

    By Blogger Littleredridinghoodie, at 11:52 AM, December 07, 2005  

  • LRH- I think we mean the same thing, change in behavior, change in person, what's the difference

    By Blogger Masmida, at 11:56 AM, December 07, 2005  

  • Oh, and one more thing did it occur to you that Yosef Hatzadik made it into the Torah because he was the ONLY man in history who resisted? I mean it is a really big deal to be mentioned in he torah especially an honorable mention.
    (note: the pig is also mentioned in the tora)

    By Blogger Littleredridinghoodie, at 12:01 PM, December 07, 2005  

  • Let me think:

    Yehuda & Tamar - failed
    David & Batsheva - failed

    Paltiel & Michal - SUCCESS! If you're not familiar with the story, after Shual starts gunning for David. He declares David's marriage to his daugher, Michal, void and marries her to this other man, Paltiel. This is the original sword down the center of the bed story.

    .... and you know what, Paltiel never touched her. Wonder why he's not called a tzadik.

    By Blogger Masmida, at 12:35 PM, December 07, 2005  

  • Maybe he should have pleasured her incessantly and not himself.

    By Blogger Littleredridinghoodie, at 6:38 PM, December 07, 2005  

  • Uh, LRH, sleeping with someone's else wife is a die-better-than-that kind of sin.

    By Blogger Masmida, at 6:40 PM, December 07, 2005  

  • Who said anything about sleeping or touching? I am sure, when there is a will there is a way.

    Besides, I know women that orgasm when their husbands remember to put down the toilet seat, or their dish in the sink.

    :)

    By Blogger Littleredridinghoodie, at 7:40 PM, December 07, 2005  

  • maybe I should be more explicit.

    Michal was MARRIED to David, not Paltiel, David. and if Paltiel slept with her, or did anything that is considered as unique to man and wife, that would be eishet ish.

    The point of the statement was to say that said guy, Paltiel, was able to lie in the same bed with a woman for years on end w/o actually sleeping with her. This is NOT considered ideal in any fashion and was only laudable in sight of the face that Shaul had 're-married' Michal w/o her consent and that he was king with all said powers attached.

    Wow, LRH, not what I intended at all. the reason why he's probably not called a tzadik, was that Michal had no more desire to sleep with him and commit ADULTERY than he wanted with her.

    But to make you happy, consider the discription of marital relations b/w Yitzchak and Rivka, "And Yitzchak made Rivka laugh..."

    By Blogger Masmida, at 9:03 PM, December 07, 2005  

  • Sorry Masmida, I was just trying to make you laugh and lighten up a bit. According to the Kabalah, Paltiel was a tzadik and the gilgul of Yosef Hatzadik I hope that answers you question.

    You are right though, the truth only belongs to Hashem, and Hashem only, we are here trying to figure out what our job is and pray everynight before we go to sleep that we finish our task (all 70 years + 50 bonus) with out punishment or sickness etc. Hashem Yishmor!

    By Blogger Littleredridinghoodie, at 9:27 PM, December 07, 2005  

  • Wow, it's like a Tanach shiur in here. Needless to say, all mankind is no more condemned then womenkind. It's a sign of our times that "anything goes." That being said, to quote Britney Spears, "I'm not that innocent." There is a little evil, a little Yetzer Hora in all of us. Some people just handle it differently.

    By Blogger Josh, at 9:54 PM, December 07, 2005  

  • LRH-
    [smile]
    Sorry if I got too uptight, I'm just trying to perserve my innocence and my faith in humanit a little longer.

    Paltiel = Yosef, that's really cool.

    You're welcome to try to make laugh anytime.

    josh-

    of course, who knows tanach? men or women.

    By Blogger Masmida, at 9:59 PM, December 07, 2005  

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