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Running on Jewish Time

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Protection by Reflection

There are people who keep you out by their absorption in your concerns.

You ask them how they are and suddenly you find yourself discussing your own life goals and ambitions, only to walk away at the end of the conversation and suddenly realize that you never got an answer.

Ever done that to someone else, only to have it mirrored back to you. Each so concerned that the conversation center on the other, in allowing the other feel themselves as the center that the conversation descends into an awkard abyss of politeness.

It would be funny, if behind the deferral and the courtesy wasn't the haunting sense of some pain, some unacknowleged need, the lack of love of self.

It's ironic that in the emphasis to give and give and give, that we seldom include ourselves in the all the generousity. In the rush to help our friend with their burden, forget our own on the side of the road and then once our friend is goes on, we find ourselves, lost with no mission of our own.

2 Comments:

  • That's so interesting, because I often find the opposite. I'm often far more at ease in a conversation that centers around myself - and I see that as very egocentric. At the same time, I assume that others also enjoy talking about themselves, and I've tried focusing the conversation on them and seeing how they react. Often, I find that they become much more passionate.

    I'm not trying to undermine what you said; I'm just curious why my own recent findings seem to be at odd with yours...?

    By Blogger Stx, at 12:49 AM, November 06, 2005  

  • I think the key is the passion, if you're energetic and really intrested, then the person you're talking to is likely to be also.

    If someone is trying to get the focus off of themselves and really wouldn't care if they are talking about the other person or the weather pattrens on mars, then it doesn't always work.

    but i agree, most people when you ask them about their own life, they very passionate, it's when they're not that this becomes the a problem and seems as if there is a real difficulty in the other's life

    By Blogger Masmida, at 3:09 PM, November 07, 2005  

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