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Running on Jewish Time

Friday, October 28, 2005

Why Was Woman Created?

So that man wouldn't think he's god on earth. :)

[Lo Tov L'Ish L'heyot Levado- Rashi]

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Quiet Lessons

I don't even pretend that it is my ability that enables me to pass my classes anymore. I'm sitting here blogging when I should be studying for a test because I was hitting wall after wall. There are times that I look at the paper, look at the problem, then squint upward and ask G-d to help me out.

All my intelligence, smooth talking, insightfullness, are gifts. G-d has quietly demonstrated time and time again, how they are very much not available to me when He chooses not to. So, now I appreciate it and remember to say thank you.

Satisfaction- Silent and Strong

I revisited the shul of my youth for hakafot.
I smiled as the gabbai tried to end hakafot, only to be swept away by three overly-enthusiatic dancers, and laughed as hagba got rated ten by the judges.

But then comes the moment I wait for every year, Kol Ha'narim.

The young children stand and listen to the words that their souls heard 3500 years ago. All around them, in living breathing life, are the parents who learn it, who live it, who teach it to these small ones, standing as the pillars holding up the tallis over the heads of the next generation.

As I watch my brother carry the sefer torah back to the Aron, carrying this beloved burden, satisfaction, silent and strong, fills me.

The simcha is the moment, after living it and learning it, speaking its words and argueing their meanings, we hold the torah, and dance with it and with reverence and love, give to our children.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Negtive Images

Having spent at least a good three weeks stressing about all the class I'm missing I am now going to invert the situation to stress about all the chag I'm missing.

It's chol haMoed. There is the entire sefer Kohelet to learn over and a lot of intresting discussions about the first sentance I want to have. My little sister needs to be played with and their is not a chance that my mother doesn't need time to shep nachas of all her children in the same room together.

There are parks to wander around in and friends to visit and trips to go on.

and I have to work on take home tests.

But on the other hand, I have one problem on the test completely done, my professor forgot to post the homework, so now its not due for another week, and there's no homework whatsoever in my other classes.

So I'm going to stop letting school get in the way of my chag.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Simcha Shel Miztva

Homework, handed in, signed and sealed
Succah, built, sached and soon to be decorated
Food, cooked, baked and delicous
Self, showered, dressed and ready to enjoy two uninterrupted days of being a human being.

Chag Sameach.

Through the Straights.....

4 hours and counting to Succot and I can throw away all my books and enjoy myself guilt-free.
Thanks for stopping by to say hi.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Misirat Nefesh

[Transliteration is pathetic but necessary]

Every time there's a bombing and we as a nation, sit and do our spiritual arithmetic to find out where this dusty, downtrodden nation have surprassed us. And the answer is in their sacrifices, a willingness to immolate themselves and their own children on fire of their own making.

We, well, I, am very comfortable and not eager to give up any of my pleasent little amenities.

But.... these past two weeks and two weeks to come when I stand alone and work night after night into the pale hours of dawn, miss class after class and midterms, as we turn through the chagim. If the anguish and the frustration, the stress and despair, that swirl through my world as I attempt impossible deadlines are not my own personal sacrifice....

G-d, I know hundreds of your children doing this. We pay in sweat and tears, sleep and peace of mind, for keeping your moedim, to walk away from the world and join You at the set times in the 'small scantuaries' that dot our exile. Please, remember this and don't make us pay in blood.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Happy Endings

As I was asking forgiveness Monday, I finished a conversation with "Gmar Tov." A moment of silence of the other end of the line, and then... "It's very strange to wish a person a happy ending"

This woman's mother-in-law is dying.
We speak to G-d about all the things that we want, the livelhood and the sucess, the health and the home, the joy and the warmth... Everything good and bad that comes our way this coming year should end in good.

May you all be sealed, signed and marked for good endings.

Gmar Chatima Tova.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Reversing the Flow of causality

[How to combine Columbus Day, lectures in theorectical physics, and the coming Yom Kippur in a single entry........]

A causes B. B causes C.

what is the original cause of C? A.

for most of the world, time marches forward inexorably propelled by that which was, condemned to live forever in the shadow of past events, past errors, past life. A world in which the future is a mere puppet of the past.

but let's forget determism and abandon the staid climes of Aristolean causality and climb for the headspinning view above time.

It is not the past that determines the future, but the future which defines the past.

The Columbus Phenomenon:
Reasonable Theory: The earth is round
Bad Results: He landed in Latin America
Great Discovery: Yeah! New Continent to trade with.

So the Great Explorer creates a future in which his past abysmal approximation of the earth's radius yielded a New World.

So what are we doing on Yom Kippur....
We sit back and dream of what we want to become and then go rummaging through the 'useless bits' pile of our life for things to build that.
Hmmm.... Compassion, Compassion.
Ah Ha! Look, I just rationalized myself into helping because I didn't want to be the only one not helping... maybe I should stick around these people more often.

Need some sort a Zeal do-hickey thing....
Oh! This little competitive streak of mine fits perfectly with the jealousy of beautifully my friend davens, to get me up a least fifteen minutes earlier to have time to say brachot

I hope that all of you are far and above this level and have made considerable progress in eliminating all such unsavory characteristics. But, as for myself, I have no compunction in playing the lesser parts of myself off each other, after all the house always wins.

Gmar Chatima Tova.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Barginning







From: Me
FrumActress
To:The King of the Universe
Date:8 days to Yom Kippur and Counting
Re: Academidic Sucess for Semesters, Fall and Spring


I would like to recommend to You that I receive excellent grades in my classes for the following reason. My name is Yours. I know that is an extremely arrogant thing to say but...


Everyone is horrified that I have spent and will spend more days ignoring important things like homework, studying, research etc. to sit and talk to You and to learn and to think. Including some of Your children who haven't visited in quite some time; they've assured me that they mean to stop by but that it's just too busy.


Plus, I'm the Jewish girl, so if I fail, it is not, me, myself and I and it's the Jewish Girl


So for the sake of demonstrating that keeping Your mitzvot is a good and not an evil, please give me good grades in the coming year, so that none of them may say, "Well, what you expect losing all those days!"


 
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